Cliches

I have a love-hate relationship with cliches. On the one hand they embody the trite, the unoriginal, the shopworn. On the other hand they are linguistic shortcuts, the common currency of our verbal interactions. Imagine if we had to laboriously explain cliches each time they were spoken and you get an idea of how much time we save by using them.

Proverbs are cliched notions that have wormed their way into a folksy vernacular: "A stitch in time saves nine," "Don't count your chickens before they are hatched," etc. I don't really have problem with these; they have stood the test of time (another entry in the cliched phraseology hall of fame). They are so familiar, in fact, that we don't need to produce the whole sentence to convey the idea. Simply stating "don't count your chickens" is enough. Maybe someday we will evolve to the point that declaring "chickens!" (or texting dcyc) does the trick. But I digress.

The cliches that cause me indigestion are the newer ones--those that meet the trite test but are not time-tested (can all those T's be accidental?). New enough that they are often uttered with the air of having hit on a new idea, a clever turn of phrase, but old enough to make me wince inwardly when I hear them. I think in this age of constant and instant communication, this plague of cliches hits harder than it used to--original thought is under constant threat.

Specifics you say? Well okay. How about thinking outside the box? I simply don't anymore. I will think everywhere BUT outside the box. So there.

Can we agree to disagree? No, we can't. What that says to me is "I am right, but my time is too valuable to waste arguing with you." And that just makes me want to short-sheet your bed. Also argue about this topic and any other that comes to mind. You lose either way, believe me.

What goes around comes around. Perhaps, but not as often as it should.

It is what it is. Technically this is a sentence but I think it should be downgraded to a punctuation mark, along the lines of a period. Why? Because it doesn't actually add meaning, other than symbolic, and it will stop a conversation cold.

I could go on, but I think you catch my drift. One of the biggest problems I have with cliches is that they are so seductive. My efforts to avoid using them probably gives my speech a somewhat halting quality, like a reformed stutterer. It is not that I am trying to not repeat myself--I am trying to not repeat myself and thousands of others. That is why I like analogies. Ideally, they are composed on the fly and the most successful are both unexpected and apropos. I keep trying for the bullseye in this extreme linguistic sport.

So, finally, this latest thing of asking questions and then answering them? Talk about total control of the conversation. Do I think this is really lame? Yes, I do. Have I caught myself doing this? Sadly, yes. Did I hate myself in the morning?
You know I did.